producer | writer
And I’m 5 again
And the sunlight is too bright
And the room is unknown
And my father is gone
And my brothers are gone
But my mother is here
But my mother is a stranger
But one brother is here
But that brother is a stranger
But I have my doll
But she sleeps in a suitcase
I don’t know where I am
I don’t know what’s happening
I don’t know when I’ll go home
I don’t know yet that I never will
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do
I don’t know yet that this feeling is called dread
He struck like a rogue wave
On a calm sea
Scooping me up
Twisting me
And turning me
Such that I didn’t know which way was up
The swirl of our laughter
Crowded out any bubbles useful to
Follow to the surface
I was strewn on the shore
Drenched, sputtering and coughing
Left to pick the seaweed from my hair
Wipe off the sand stuck to my skin
He was gone as suddenly as
He had arrived
The sea relinquishing no clues to his
Whereabouts
My dreams are filled
With the images
Of the naïve
I still have the
Stubborn imaginings
Of a little girl
Hope tantalizes
The mouth of the idealistic
I salivate for the
Caressing breezes
I’ve never tasted
These things aren’t for me
And I can’t speak to whom they are for
But we stamp our little foot
And shake our little curls
And draw no continuum
From place to place
Or cause to effect
Any damage is done and covered over
And lays me intractably
And irrevocably bidden
I stretch to see the trees
For the forest
I’m not trying to
Alienate you
His voice
Singes with
Animosity
Absent its usual playfulness
The rise of his eyebrows
Challenges
Instead of inquires
His liquid brown eyes still lull
Even now
Swaying me back and forth
Like the
Gentle
Summer swell
But the set of his perfect mouth is
Hard as marble
Miles away from the silken softness
That so recently lingered on my breast
The set of his shoulders
Once so enticing and encompassing
Is now aggressive and wary
He’s coiled to react in an instant
My shoulders
Slouch with the
Burden of impotence and
Frustration
I can’t find the
Words
To assuage his feelings of
Assault
Or to
Shield myself from his defensive
Strikes
I can’t find
Any words
To accomplish
Anything
He’s erected a
Rampart of ice
Between us
He stands, himself
Frozen, behind it
Defiant to the last
And I
Recoil
Struck
To think I could
Ever
Elicit this response from
Anyone
Drawing us further
Apart
I want
Nothing more
Than to merely
Embrace
Him
Press
Against him and
Melt him
And
Everything
Between us
With just the
Warmth of my
Body
