I don’t know


And I’m 5 again
And the sunlight is too bright
And the room is unknown
And my father is gone
And my brothers are gone

But my mother is here
But my mother is a stranger
But one brother is here
But that brother is a stranger
But I have my doll
But she sleeps in a suitcase

I don’t know where I am
I don’t know what’s happening
I don’t know when I’ll go home
I don’t know yet that I never will
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do
I don’t know yet that this feeling is called dread

the rogue wave


He struck like a rogue wave
On a calm sea

Scooping me up
Twisting me

And turning me
Such that I didn’t know which way was up

The swirl of our laughter
Crowded out any bubbles useful to
Follow to the surface

I was strewn on the shore
Drenched, sputtering and coughing

Left to pick the seaweed from my hair
Wipe off the sand stuck to my skin

He was gone as suddenly as
He had arrived

The sea relinquishing no clues to his

the trees for the forest

My dreams are filled
With the images
Of the naïve

I still have the
Stubborn imaginings
Of a little girl

Hope tantalizes
The mouth of the idealistic

I salivate for the
Caressing breezes
I’ve never tasted

These things aren’t for me
And I can’t speak to whom they are for

But we stamp our little foot
And shake our little curls

And draw no continuum
From place to place
Or cause to effect

Any damage is done and covered over
And lays me intractably
And irrevocably bidden


I stretch to see the trees
For the forest

paper tiger

I’m not trying to
Alienate you
His voice
Singes with

Absent its usual playfulness

The rise of his eyebrows
Instead of inquires

His liquid brown eyes still lull
Even now
Swaying me back and forth
Like the
Summer swell

But the set of his perfect mouth is
Hard as marble
Miles away from the silken softness
That so recently lingered on my breast

The set of his shoulders
Once so enticing and encompassing
Is now aggressive and wary
He’s coiled to react in an instant

My shoulders
Slouch with the
Burden of impotence and

I can’t find the
To assuage his feelings of
Or to
Shield myself from his defensive

I can’t find
Any words
To accomplish

He’s erected a
Rampart of ice
Between us

He stands, himself
Frozen, behind it
Defiant to the last

And I
To think I could
Elicit this response from

Drawing us further

I want
Nothing more
Than to merely

Against him and
Melt him
Between us
With just the
Warmth of my